


Someone Who Can Stay By My Side

by MonkeyZero



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-23 10:08:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10717302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonkeyZero/pseuds/MonkeyZero
Summary: Kurogane learned all sorts of things about Fai. He loved getting his hair scratched, his feet were ticklish, and given half a chance he would wrap his long limbs around Kurogane and hold so tight nothing could pull them apart. But Fai never fully let his guard down, not even when he was asleep, and not even after sex. All Kurogane could do was get him to let down a few of the outer defenses.Fai and Kurogane's love story, or what happens in between scenes. From Oto Country to the end.





	1. Oto Country

**Author's Note:**

> -not sure why I used italics instead of quotation marks, I guess it was just the aesthetic I was feeling, sorry if it's confusing  
> -This will probably make very little sense if you have read/seen tsubasa recently  
> -based o the manga, not the anime  
> -you can find me at sansa-marriage-strikes.tumblr.com. I sometimes post about tsubasa and anime.  
> -I can't think of any triggers, other than some blood since Fai is a vampire and all  
> -There are a few explicit sex scenes.  
> -That's it I think

They stood on either side of the doorway like pillars and heard the boy’s heart break. 

_ What was that? _

_ The so-called price, _ Fai murmured.  _ It is not as simple as you may think. Even when someone told Sakura-chan what happened between her and Syaoran-kun, it will be immediately erased from Sakura-chan’s memory.  _ To be erased wholly from the memory of the one who matters most. Fai explained it in a dull tone, unable to look up at his silent companion. All the joy was gone from his demeanor, his shoulders had sunk down upon themselves.

_ How much does the past matter, I wonder,  _ Kurogane said, when the children were asleep.  _ If they are the same people they have always been, the love will be the same, whether she remembers or not. _

_ I’m surprised to hear that from you, Kuro-tan  _ Fai said with a grin.  _ Isn’t it our pasts who make us who we are? _

Kurogane stretched out, leaning against the sofa.  _ Maybe  _ he said.  _ When two people meet, does it matter how they got there, or does it simply matter that they are there, together? The four of us, we come from different places, but we are headed in the same for a time, and isn’t that what’s important? _

_ If you say so, Kuro-puppy _

_ Don’t call me that _

_ Big Doggie _

_ SHUT UP _

 

_ “Are you still mad?” he asked  _ Kurogane fumed. At a cry, he spun around. Fai poked his face.  _ I’m going to send you to the other world right now.  _ Fai’s laughter rings in his ears, and he doesn’t hate it quite as much as he pretends to, and then Fai cries out again. He is calm as the oni surround them, nothing knocks Fai of his center. Even the battle, it’s like a game to him. It’s infuriating. He’s laughing and dodging, never taking risks, never going on the offensive. He puts his toes in the water, but he never gets in.

And then one of them sends Fai flying. And even that, even that won’t make him take the thing seriously.

_ Looks like I didn’t die.  _ Life and death are laughing matters to him. Games

_ It’s not that you didn’t die. It’s you won’t die  _ Kurogane shouts.  _ The ones I hate the most are those who give up their lives before all hopes are gone. _

There was a moment where Kurogane thought he may have cracked something, made the magician feel something, the slightest expression of fear, or maybe hurt, but that damn smile is back.  _ That means I’m the type of person you hate most. _

_ But I don’t hate you  _ Kurogane almost says, but he doesn’t. He can’t.

 

The magician looks lonely listening to the singer, but the type of loneliness that can only be resolved by oneself.  _ If you want to go somewhere to be by yourself, you don’t have to ask.  _ Kurogane doesn’t know why he said that. It is hard finding time for oneself while travelling.

_ Kuro-chan, you are the only one who would do that, you know,  _ Fair replies with a smile. At a frown from Kurogane, he continues  _ mmm, how should I put it? Because I have been waiting too. Waiting for someone who can stay by my side. _

Why would he say something like that? If he wanted a friend why does he hide so much? Why run? Why does he keep everyone iced out with the smile that is also an iron wall? Fai is a creature of barriers and walls. Kurogane doesn’t like walls--it is his instinct to scale them.

 

The magician is getting so familiar: grabbing onto his arm, a new nickname every minute, feeding him cake. The smile, and his touch, are unusual, but not unwelcome. Kurogane never lets people in his space so casually, but something about Fai seems like he belongs.

 

Kurogane was familiar with rage. It had fuelled him for some long. But the rage he felt when he learned that man had killed Fai and Syaoran had been greater rage than he had felt in quite some time. He had come to see them as his own to protect, and to lose them was more pain than he had felt in some time. Seeing them again, alive--the relief almost knocked him off his feet. His grip on his sword slackened. They were safe. It was all okay. They were safe.


	2. Shura Country

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -nsfw

Kurogane picks a fight within minutes of arriving somewhere new. Fai just sits back and watches, laughing. Kurogane explains that the place is similar to his own home, the shrines, the religion. It is all very foreign to Fai, but he likes to hear about Kurogane’s home. He likes it when Kurogane talks about his Princess. For all his rage and aggression, he can be caring, almost loving with Sakura and Syaoran. Fai wonders if he learned that from Tomoyo. 

Fai thinks he hides it when he hears the name Ashura, but Kurogane notices more than he lets on. Nothing gets past him, but he won’t let you know what he’s noticed until it’s useful to him.

 

Fai gets touchy when he gets drunk. Meowing and pawing at Kurogane, he kept laughing that laugh. Eventually he settled with his head in Kurogane’s lap. As if Fai were a cat, Kurogane simply reached out to scratch the magician behind the ear.  _ I shouldn’t be doing this  _ he thought, running his fingers through the other man’s hair. He expected him to purr any minute.  _ This could get dangerous.  _ Kurogane wonders if Fai is really drunk, or if that’s an act. Nothing about Fai is what it seems, it’s just layers of secrets and lie. And yet Kurogane’s fingers itch to pull apart those layers and see what lies underneath.

 

The new world suited Kurogane. It was bloody and violent, and very much like his home. He was not happy, but he was at ease with himself. This life seemed to some easily to him. Still, when they returned from the castle in the sky, and Kurogane’s sword was dripping with the blood of countless people, Fai began to understand why his Tomoyo had sent him away.

Fai wondered sometimes if he couldn’t soften Kurogane, just a little. 

_ Kuro-tan, Kuro-pon, Kuro-puppy, Kuro-pii, Kuro-puu _

Without Mokona around, it seemed all Fai could do was lie around and give Kurogane nicknames, poke him, tickle him, and blow in his ears. He got lonely, unable to talk to anybody, forced to adopt a shy demeanor, and he craved to touch Kurogane, take fistfulls of flesh, feel another human in his hands. But that could get dangerous.

 

They fought during the night and slept during the day. Between resting and fighting, Kurogane would talk to the other men of Shura country and Fai would wait. Alone. Kurogane was the only thing he knew, and his one anchor. After a month in Shura country he started abandoning his own bed for Kurogane’s. The other man didn’t complain when Fai crawled under his blanket.  _ I got cold and you seemed warm,  _ Fai said, not that he would understand. Kurogane grunted in response, and they slept. Every night they woke up with Kurogane’s arms wrapped around Fai, holding him close like a precious object. They didn’t talk about. They couldn’t.

 

_ How is Kuro-rin?  _ Fai said with a grin, dancing into the room. He was fresh from his bath after a particularly hard battle in the castle in the sky. Kurogane yelled something that Fai assumed meant  _ shut up.  _ At least Fai knew that word.

_ Kuro-woofy? _ Kurogane got within inches of his face and shouted something, Fai didn’t know what, but he knew that Kurogane’s red, angry face was very cute in that moment, and without really thinking about it he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Kurogane’s lips.

Kurogane didn’t react--he just stood there, mouth half open, staring at Fai. Laughing, Fai made his way to the door before Kurogane’s hand was on his arm, holding him, vice-like. Kurogane turned him around, and there was anger and desire mixed on his face in equal parts. Fai closed his eyes and smiled. He loved this, loved how much Kurogane could feel, how easily he could make that man tick, how real he was.

In one swift movement, Kurogane gripped him by the thighs, lifted him and pinned him to the wall, shoving him so hard, Fai thought they might crash into the other room. But they didn’t and instead Fai wrapped himself all around Kurogane, as if he could sink himself into the other man’s body. Kurogane said something in his own language, and then there were no words, just lips and tongues and teeth, kissing, licking, biting. Kurogane’s hands were everywhere on Fai’s body, pulling at clothes, grabbing at his skin, nails digging into the soft flesh on his back. Meanwhile his tongue pushed into the magician’s mouth, he bit his lip until he tasted blood: it was messy and desperate. Fai seized fistfulls of Kurogane’s hair and pulled his mouth towards him deeper, closer. 

Fai thought he could have stayed that way for hours, days, but eventually he pulled away, and gently brought his hands down to frame Kurogane’s jaw.  _ We ought to get some sleep  _ he said, knowing Kurogane wouldn’t understand. Kurogane gave that little smile that was barely a twitch of his lips, and the coldness in his eyes melted, just for a moment. Fai took his hand and led him to bed. 

 

Unable to speak with words, Fai learned to say everything he wanted with a kiss.  _ You look so cute when you’re irritated with me  _ became a quick kiss on the nose.  _ I worried those soldiers might be too much for you today  _ was a deep, slow kiss, and  _ take care of that ankle  _ was a series of soft kisses dusted over Kurogane’s cheeks to the corner of his lips. Sometimes Kurogane taught him words in his language, and sometimes Fai taught him, but mostly they spoke the language of the body. They spent their days resting, sleeping and exploring one another. Fai didn’t know why Kurogane wanted to keep it hidden, but knew the man was afraid of anybody else in Shura country finding out about the two of them, so everything between them stayed in the bedroom, hidden. They didn’t go beyond kisses for several weeks, but then they started peeling sweaty, bloody fabric from one another’s bodies after long battles. Fai was the first to sink to his knees, push Kurogane against a wall and take him in his mouth. Kurogane came almost as soon as Fai’s warm mouth closed around him and he bit his hand to keep himself from crying out. Fai made a soft humming noise, then stood up with that smile on his face to kiss Kurogane, the bitter taste of semen still on his tongue. 

 

Kurogane learned all sorts of things about Fai. He loved getting his hair scratched, his feet were ticklish, and given half a chance he would wrap his long limbs around Kurogane and hold so tight nothing could pull them apart. But Fai never fully let his guard down, not even when he was asleep, and not even after sex. All Kurogane could do was get him to let down a few of the outer defenses. 

Another thing about Fai was that he loved baths, and he loved being pampered. They would spend hours together in the hot water, Kurogane sluicing hot water over Fai’s back. He rubbed soap into the knots on Fai’s back and scrubbed shampoo into the magician’s hair. Fai just leaned into Kurogane’s hands, humming appreciatively. Kurogane moved Fai’s hair out of the way and left a soft kiss at the base of his neck.

_ Kuro-tan,  _ Fai murmured. All this, and he still wouldn’t use his proper name. 

_ Call me Kurogane,  _ Kurogane said and he brought his hand down Fai’s side and over his thigh. The magician’s skin was so soft against his rough hands. Kurogane reached between his legs and began stroking his hard cock in slow, steady strokes, leaving kisses down his neck and shoulder at the same time. He had never made love like this. In the past it had always been about getting off quickly without getting caught, desire and need, but this was different. He held Fai in his hands, aware of just how breakable the man really was. Fai made a soft, strangled noise when he came, then a sigh of relief. 

_ I think I’m falling in love with you,  _ Kurogane whispered into Fai’s neck. Fai sighed, unable to understand the words. He found Kurogane’s hand and brought it to his face where he brushed his lips against the rough skin of Kurogane’s knuckles. 

_ I think I may be falling in love with you  _ Fai said in his own language.


	3. Piffle World

Things became more complicated once they could speak. 

_ You still haven’t met that someone from your world,  _ Kurogane says,  _ The reason why you must keep running away. _

_ I would know the difference,  _ Fai says. That’s all Kurogane will get from him. He wants to know why Fai runs, but knows the second he asks will be the second he loses Fai. The question  _ what are we to one another  _ lies unanswered between them. Are they people with the right to one another’s pasts? Or are they just people who share a bed? Kurogane doesn’t know how much Fai will give him, but knows not to ask, for fear of losing everything he already has. He has to be very careful with Fai.

 

Fai wonders if this is what life is like for normal people. Putting children to bed, and going to sleep with somebody’s arms around him. It is easy to pretend they are a family--a strange one, but a family--and Fai is not who he is. But he can’t get caught in that. He only has so long before it falls apart. He’s not the kind of person who can have anything permanent. He will only bring misery to those around him. Even when Kurogane is inside him, he wonders when it will end. When Kurogane will learn about him. When he will hate him. But sometimes, after sex, with Kurogane’s strong arms around him, when he’s wrapped up in his smells and his soft words he can forget, just for a minute. And sometimes that minute is enough.

 

Sakura walked into the living room to get a glass of water to see Fai straddled over Kurogane’s lap, with Kurogane’s hands on his ass. Syaoran saw them coming out of the bath together. Mokona came into Kurogane’s room to ask why Fai’s bed was empty and got an eyeful. As the others found out things began to seem more real. Fai didn’t mind it: it just meant he could kiss Kurogane whenever he liked. But he knew Kurogane worried.

_ Wasn’t it dangerous, where you came from?  _ Kurogane asked one night.

_ What?  _ Fai asked  _ Sex? _

_ With men,  _ Kurogane said. 

_ Why should it be dangerous?  _ Fai asked. He was carding his fingers through Kurogane’s hair, tugging gently through tangles.

_ It’s--it’s not the sex that’s dangerous, it’s if people find out. They don’t like it when it’s two men. Or two women. It was only supposed to be between men and women,  _ Kurogane explained.

_ That’s silly,  _ Fai said with a laugh.  _ Why would people care. _

_ It’s not something to laugh about,  _ Kurogane shouted, unsure why he had gotten so angry.  _ It’s--people got hurt. People got killed just because.... _

Kurogane’s words were cut off when Fai wrapped his arms around him. The embrace was tight but tender, different from the way Fai usually held him--softer.  _ I didn’t know,  _ Fai whispered.  _ It must have been lonely. _

_ It was,  _ Kurogane admitted.  _ Tomoyo knew. She knew and she didn’t care. She was the first person who made me feel like it was okay. _

_ I like Tomoyo,  _ Fai said.  _ Your Tomoyo, and this Tomoyo, here in Piffle world.  _

_ What is it like in your world?  _ Kurogane asked.

Fai shrugged.  _ People like who they like I suppose.  _ And that was all he was going to say.

 

_ Looking at them now, the kids trying their best to smile, I feel that they’ve changed,  _ Fai said as he surveyed Syaoran and Sakura.

_ It seems you have changed too,  _ Kurogane said. Fai gave him a quizzical look.  _ Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about,  _ Kurogane said. In explanation, he reached forward and took Fai’s hand with his uninjured one. Fai couldn’t respond, and Kurogane didn’t expect him to, he was just glad not to be brushed aside by some joking remark.

_ You’ve changed too, Kuro-sama  _ Fai said, twisting their fingers together.  _ You’ve changed me,  _ he thought, but didn’t say. 


	4. Lecourt Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Up until now they have been able to firmly avoid their pasts, until a book shines a light onto Kurogane's history

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -very short chapter, more to come soon  
> -let me know how you are liking the story so far :)

_ You haven’t asked me what that kid saw _ Kurogane said, hanging back behind Syaoran and Sakura to speak with Fai.

_ Hmmm,  _ Fai hummed.  _ I figure it’s not my place to ask. _

Kurogane stopped, and Fai could tell from the way he tensed his shoulders that he was angry.  _ Not your place? Do you think you mean nothing to me?  _ He sped up to join up with Syaoran and Sakura, leaving Fai behind. Fai had of course done what he would have wanted Kurogane to do if it had been him. But it had not been him.

Fai managed to get Kurogane on his own on the way to the library. He was vaguely aware that before he would have avoided Kurogane, but things had changed.  _ Do you want me to ask you what Syaoran saw?  _ He asked.

_ I don’t care what you ask  _ Kurogane asked, all rough and abrasive.

_ I didn’t ask not because I didn’t care  _ Fai said.  _ I didn’t ask because… because if you told me about your past, then you would want to know about mine, and I can’t tell you about my past. _

_ So you thought you could avoid the thing altogether?  _ Kurogane asked.

_ That was the idea  _ Fai said with a nervous grin.

_ I don’t need to know your past, Fai, _ Kurogane said.  _ I know you now. If you don’t want me to know anything else, that’s not my business. _

_ But do you want me to know yours?  _ Fai pressed.

_ What happened to me… it’s what makes me the person I am,  _  Kurogane said.  _ I don’t think you can know me without knowing what happened to me, and I-- _

_ I want to know you,  _ Fai said. 

_ Then I’ll start from the beginning _

 

_ Really, Kuro-sama, you focus on all the unnecessary things.  _ To Kurogane, things were simple. You made a promise. You made a choice. You used magic or you did not. You got stronger or you got weaker. You ran, or you faced your fight. He would never understand the curses and broken promises and traps that had formed Fai’s life. He would never understand Fai, not if he really knew him, not if he knew all the events that had created him. If Kurogane knew the truth, he would hate him. And then it would be all over. It was selfish of Fai, really, to keep it going this long. Kurogane was an honest man, and he was the very opposite.


	5. Tokyo Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything changes in Tokyo

_ If you don’t say anything it’ll be like I’m talking to myself!  _ Fai said. Kurogane wouldn’t let the magic go. He should have known it wouldn’t be easy forever.

_ That is what you want, isn’t it?  _ Kurogane said.  _ You always act so cheerful, but you never get close to anyone. It’s as if you don’t want to get involved with others.  _ Fai wished he could be the type of person to tell Kurogane everything. He wished he could let go of every secret, every lie, and let Kurogane truly see him. But that could never happen, because if Kurogane knew who he was, and what he had done, he would lose him. And Fai wasn’t ready to lose Kurogane, not yet. It was selfish of him, so selfish, to keep this up between them when he knew it would only hurt Kurogane. He always hurt the people around him. The twin of misfortune. 

_ I don’t want anyone to get hurt because they were involved with me. _ That was as much truth as he was willing to give, and he hoped at least Kurogane understood it was true. 

_ I’m not concerned about your past. So quit playing around and start thinking about the future. _

As Kurogane walked away, Fai wondered, just for a second, if he could leave his past behind like that. If it was possible, if it could happen, it would be because of Kurogane. And maybe he would be willing to try. Maybe. But he was afraid.

 

Fai looked so small, passed out on the bed, his eye socket empty and bloody. Kurogane couldn’t let him die. He couldn’t lose him. And the bastard wouldn’t even fight for his own life. Did he not understand he had a life worth saving? Did he not understand that he mattered? He would have given anything to the witch to save Fai, the man he loved. He wished he had said it out loud, but he had been so afraid of scaring Fai away. Now it would not matter. To make him a vampire… Fai would hate him for that. He would lose Fai, but he could not sit back and let Fai die, not when there was a way to save him.

Fai cried out and writhed in pain when the blood entered his body. The man who had just shrugged off a broken leg with a smile.  _ What have I done to him,  _ Kurogane wondered. All he could do was hold Fai down, stroke his hair the way he liked, and rub his back in what he hoped was a calming way. But Fai probably didn’t want him touching him anymore. There was a moment, when Fai’s body relaxed where he looked up at Kurogane, and Kurogane could see the betrayal, the anger, the hurt, just before Fai collapsed.  _ What have I done to him?  _

 

Kurogane stayed by Fai’s side. When he finally woke up, he said the last thing Kurogane expected.

_ Morning, Kurogane.  _ Kurogane wasn’t sure if it was forgiveness or the end. Perhaps both. Things with Fai were never simple. 

Kurogane spoke with the new Syaoran, until Fai stormed in, livid. Protecting Sakura and Syaoran, that had always been the thing that had brought them together, the thing they could agree on despite all other differences. Kurogane had broken that rule. He had broken every rule of their relationship.  _ Waiting is more painful that going together with her.  _ Kurogane knew he was a hypocrite. He wanted Fai to let the Princess go when he himself had been unable to let Fai go, unable to wait.

_ I’m not waiting,  _ Fai said. Sakura was the only one left who had not betrayed him.

_ Is believing so frightening?  _ Fai stopped for a moment. It was almost enough to keep him from going. But what reason had Kurogane given him to believe? It wasn’t as if Fai was one who could be trusted. A master of deception. Kurogane had chosen to love him despite it all, chosen to believe that he knew the man who Fai was, underneath all the secrets and lies. But he could not fault Fai for running. Not this time.

 

Before they left Tokyo Kurogane managed to get Fai alone.

_ Kamui said you need my blood at least once a day  _ Kurogane said.

Fai stopped in the midst of packing his bags, and Kurogane feared above all he would refuse to accept his blood. Instead he smiled and it was like a wall of ice.  _ I suppose we’d better do it then. _

Kurogane cut open his wrist and held it out for Fai. Fai frowned, but instinct seemed to take over and soon he was lapping up blood as it welled up in the cut. Feeling Fai’s mouth on him, even performing such a strange act was almost welcome to Kurogane, some sort of replacement for the intimacy they had lost. At least Fai was touching him, holding his hand. Fai’s lips and tongue were on his skin.

When he was finished, Fai wiped his mouth and turned away from Kurogane immediately, but he did not go.  _ Why did you do this to me? _

_ Because I love you  _ Kurogane answered  _ And I’m selfish _

Fai laughed, a hollow, bitter laugh.  _ How can you love me? You have no idea who I really am. _

_ I decided a long time ago that I could love you for what you are  _ Kurogane said  _ what I know of you, it’s enough. I don’t need to break you open and see what’s on the inside to love the parts I can see. _

_ You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. _


	6. Infinity Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fai reaches his darkest point, Kurogane fears losing him

_ It can’t really be helped, right, Kurogane?  _

That was what Fai said whenever he got thirsty. Kurogane learned to tell when Fai needed blood, and Syaoran and Sakura learned how to disappear long enough for Fai to drink. They spoke about it as little as possible. Every time he brought it up, Kurogane worried Fai would refuse his blood altogether. Fai spoke to him as little as possible these days. As soon as he was done with the blood he disappeared again, sometimes the whole thing could be done without any eye contact. 

 

_ You’re hiding something,  _ Kurogane said.  _ You and the Princess _

_ Wouldn’t you like to know,  _ Fai said dryly. 

_ I told the witch I would be responsible for keeping you alive,  _ Kurogane said.  _ I meant that. Don’t go doing something to get yourself killed.  _

_ Same goes for you  _ Fai said.  _ If you die, I die now. _

_ Then I won’t die _

 

The door creaked open in the middle of the night. Kurogane sat up, reaching for a sword that wasn’t there before he recognized Fai in the doorway. He knew from his face that something was wrong.  _ I got cold  _ Fai said.  _ I thought you might be warm.  _ Keeping his head down, Fai made his way to the bed where he crawled under the blankets and laid down with his back to Kurogane. Kurogane knew better than to ask questions, knew not to push. Whatever was happening with Fai, he was not going to know, but in this moment Fai needed to be held, and Kurogane could do that small thing for him, and that was enough.

 

Fai slipped away from him, and Kurogane knew instantly it was not Fai anymore, just like Syaoran had not been Syaoran anymore. Before Kurogane could do anything, before he even knew what was happening, Fai’s sword had gone through the princess’ heart. The only thing he could think to shout was  _ don’t pull that sword out  _ as if that would help. 

Somehow the princess wasn’t dead. Magic, or a wish, or something.  _ Take care of Fai-san,  _ she said. All he wanted was to take care of Fai. The question was whether Fai would let him

_ Don’t hurt anyone else with that sword  _ he told the magician.  _ Including yourself. _

Fai fell to the floor, and then the secrets started spilling out. The feathers. Chi. The curse. He was willing to die, to gouge out his eye then and there and give up. Kurogane struck him when he offered the witch his eyesight. After everything, could Fai not understand they were in it together? Fai couldn’t handle this, not on his own. He needed Kurogane, even if he could never admit it. 

 

_ Are you ready to go back? _

Fai was changing into the blue cloak. He had said it would be cold. Kurogane had gotten clothes from Infinity Country, but Fai had chosen to come home the way he had left. At least mostly the way he had left. He was one eye short.  _ I’ll never be ready,  _ Fai said bitterly.  _ But I can’t run anymore. Not without hurting the Princess. _

_ And you won’t tell me anything about the one you’re running from?  _ Kurogane knew it was useless to ask, but he felt the need to say something. Fai just shook his head.

_ You don’t want to know. _


	7. Celes Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fai is forced to confront Ashura in Celes

_ This is it  _ Fai thought, searching Kurogane’s face.  _ This is the moment where he hates me.  _ Ashura would make him kill Kurogane. The only one he could have loved. He was sure Ashura knew what it meant to him, was sure he asked it for that reason. But what other choice did he have? There was no hope for him and Kurogane, for that life they could have had, that dream. And now one of them would kill the other. Fai hoped Kurogane would be the one to kill him. He should just put down his sword and let Kurogane do it, but he knew deep down that Ashura still owned him, owned the very core of him, and if Ashura told him to do something he would do it, even if it broke his heart.

 

If the idiot would just stop fighting and listen, Kurogane would explain it all to him. He understood the irony, of course. He was the one who wanted to put the swords down, but Fai wasn’t thinking. Fai was just doing what he thought he needed to do to survive. Kurogane knew what that felt like. The one thing he knew for sure was that as long as Ashura lived, Fai would never truly be free. Fai already hated him for what he had done in Tokyo, who cared if he hated him more? Kurogane had to make sure Fai was free. When Kurogane shoved his sword clear through Ashura, he did it for Fai, and prayed he would forgive him.

 

With his brother gone, Fai’s reason to live was gone, and he was ready to give up. Kurogane couldn’t let go of Fai just like that. Keeping him alive, that was his responsibility now. The trap was closing in around them, and suddenly Kurogane knew what he had to do. There was no question, really. He would have given his arm a thousand times over. Fai was worth more than an arm, if only he would see that.  


	8. Nihon Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally gets a chance to rest and heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This is probably my favorite chapter  
> -There's a sex scene in here, so skip if that makes you uncomfortable

Fai sat by Kurogane’s unmoving body for days. Sometimes he would put his hand on Kurogane’s broad chest just to assure himself it was still rising and falling, but he did not feel he had the right to touch Kurogane anymore. The fool. Why had he gone and done something as stupid as cutting off his own arm for? He should have just let Fai die there in Celes. Hadn’t he seen what Ashura had shown him? Hadn’t he seen Fai’s life wasn’t worth the effort of saving? The only thing of worth Fai had left was his one eye, so he traded that to give Kurogane his arm back. That way when Kurogane began to regret his choice he wouldn’t have to give up anything else to get his arm back. But it meant giving up any hope of returning to his original state. He would be a vampire for the rest of his life, and for the rest of his life he would need Kurogane’s blood. If Kurogane would still give it to him.

 

When Kurogane did finally begin to stir, Tomoyo made Fai wait outside. It had been Tomoyo who had told Kurogane to cut off his own arm. Fai didn’t know how, but he did know Kurogane couldn’t have known to do it on his own. But once somebody gave him the idea, he would have done it without pause. All Fai had ever really wanted was to die. Twice now, he had been given the opportunity, and twice now Kurogane had taken it from him. So he struck him. 

_ You bastard,  _ Kurogane said.  _ I’ll beat you up.  _ He was actually laughing.

_ How can you laugh  _ Fai demanded.  _ How can you act like nothing's wrong?  _

_ What’s wrong?  _ Kurogane asked.  _ We’re here. We’re safe.  _

_ You saw my past,  _ Fai said.  _ You know about the lies. You know who I am. How can you pretend that’s nothing? _

Kurogane shook his head.  _ You idiot. How many times do I have to tell you? Your past doesn’t matter to me. I told you I could love you regardless. I’m only concerned with the present. _

Fai turned around and ran out of the room.

 

Kurogane found him in the courtyard, on a bench under some cherry blossoms.

_ You found me.  _ Fai gave him one of those smiles he hadn’t seen since Tokyo country, or earlier.

_ I found you,  _ Kurogane said as he took his seat next to Fai.

_ Tomoyo won’t be happy with you,  _ Fai said, gesturing at Kurogane’s bandaged shoulder.  _ I don’t think you were supposed to leave the room. _

_ I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t have to go chasing after you.  _ Kurogane commented.

_ I don’t want you to get hurt,  _ Fai said softly.

_ Fai, I would gladly give every limb for you.  _ Fai looked away, and Kurogane grabbed his chin and turned him to face him.  _ Your life is the thing that is most precious to me. I will do anything to protect it.  _ For several moments Fai didn’t speak--he couldn’t speak--and then he let his head fall against Kurogane’s chest. Kurogane held him with his one good arm as he sobbed.

_ I love you too, Kurogane _

 

_ My vampire’s blood will keep me alive. Handing over my life in exchange for something...I would never do that. Not anymore.  _ Hearing those words from Fai’s lips, Kurogane knew he was forgiven. Forgiven for saving Fai, for killing Ashura, for loving him. Kurogane didn’t even question the cost of his arm, because he knew what it meant for Fai to give it to him. To reject it would be to reject Fai, so he just put it on. The feeling of it was foreign, but he would adjust. 

 

_ Am I hurting you?  _ Kurogane couldn’t quite get used to the sensation of touching Fai with his new arm. He could sense what he needed to sense, but the quality was different. He knew his fingers were brushing over Fai’s face, but it didn’t feel like Fai’s face.

_ No  _ Fai said with a giggle.  _ It’s nice. Strange, but nice. _

_ I don’t want to hurt you  _ Kurogane said. Fai just leaned in and kissed him. They would be leaving the next day, going to Clow Country and an uncertain future. This was their last night of safety, of being sure of going to bed and waking up together. 

_ You’re thinking too much,  _ Fai said, and wrapped his arms around Kurogane. He was seated on Kurogane’s lap, with his legs wrapped around Kurogane. Kurogane smiled and slid Fai’s kimono off his shoulder with his new hand, making sure to notice the feeling of Fai’s shoulder and arm against his metal skin. Fai shrugged his way out of the kimono, letting Kurogane unwrap it from his waist. Soon Fai was naked and wrapped around Kurogane, their kisses becoming desperate and deep. Kurogane used his fingers to open Fai up while Fai got rid of Kurogane’s clothing. After some oil, and more hot and wet kisses, Fai was riding Kurogane, slow at first, but then as fast as Kurogane could thrust into him. He bit Kurogane’s lip so hard it bled, then licked up the blood before leaving a trail of bites down Kurogane’s neck. Kurogane gripped Fai’s shoulders hard, nails digging into Fai’s pale skin, and thrust up, barely able to keep himself upright.

_ I want… deeper,  _ Fai gasped, before climbing off Kurogane. He turned around and rolled onto his hands and knees to give Kurogane easier access, an opportunity which the other man gladly took. Kurogane gripped him by the hips, leaving red marks, but he knew Fai liked it that way. From this new position he was getting Fai in the right places, and Fai was doing his best not to cry out, at least not too loudly. They came in the same moment, and Kurogane almost crushed Fai, falling on top of him, managing to land next to him at the last moment. Fai laughed at him.

_ I love you,  _ Fai said as he climbed on top of Kurogane.  _ I didn’t think I could, but I love you. _

_ I love you  _ Kurogane said,  _ but you’re trouble. _

Fai could barely kiss him through his smile.

 

Tomoyo came in to give Ginryuu to Kurogane, only to find that Kurogane was not alone. Fai was asleep on Kurogane’s shoulder, and the ninja had his arms wrapped protectively around Fai, one arm of flesh the other metal. Kurogane opened his eyes slowly to look at Tomoyo, but Fai did not wake.

_ I’ll come back  _ Tomoyo said with a smile. Her suspicions were confirmed: the magician was the one to teach him strength after all.


	9. Clow Country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family finally face Fei Wong Reed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done! Epilogue to be posted soon :)

Kurogane couldn’t sleep in Clow Country. Something about it seemed wrong. Syaoran seemed at home, cuddled up with Mokona. He knew the kid had his own secrets, and they would become unearthed here in this desert land, but for tonight, at least, he should rest, safe in his home. Or the place that seemed like his home.

Leaving Fai asleep, Kurogane went outside and found a place to sit in the empty streets, looking out over the vast desert. He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but he wasn’t surprised when Fai settled down next to him.

_ I don’t like waking up and finding you gone,  _ Fai said.

_ I’m sorry to wake you,  _ Kurogane said. He reach out to wrap his arm around Fai and pull the other man close to his body.  _ It’s cold here. _

_ Not as cold as in Celes,  _ Fai commented, resting his head on Kurogane’s shoulder.  _ I don’t mind as long as I have someone to keep me warm. _

_ Do you want to go home?  _ Kurogane asked.  _ Now that Ashura is dead, when this is all over, do you want to go back to Celes. _

Fai shook his head.  _ There’s nothing left for me in Celes. Ashura was really the only thing I ever had. Ashura and Fai. With them gone, it’s just an empty country. Besides, you want to go back to Tomoyo, and I want to be with you. _

_ I’m glad  _ Kurogane said.  _ I want you to be with me. _

_ But we’re going to take care of Syaoran and Sakura first,  _ Fai said. Kurogane nodded as his gaze drifted to the ruins.  _ We should go back to bed  _ Fai said.  _ Even if you can’t sleep you should at least get some rest. And I’ll sleep better if you’re holding me.  _ Kurogane kissed Fai’s hair, then they stood up and made their way back to the room. As Kurogane laid down to sleep he thought he covered his expression of pain as he rolled on his shoulder. Fai didn’t need to know about that. That was his last thought before an intense tiredness took over.

 

Of course Fai realized his shoulder was hurting him. It had been stupid to try and hide it. Fai knew he of all people shouldn’t get angry with Kurogane for hiding something, but he felt angry all the same. It was so like Kurogane, to allow a gift to become a burden. Fai ran his finger over the red angry skin where the metal connected. Even if he still had his magic, he would have been useless with healing. Still, there were some things he could do.

_ At the very least you can let me take care of you,  _ Fai said.  _ Lie down. I’ll going to get you some ice, then I’ll wrap it for you. _

_ It’s not too painful that I can’t use it,  _ Kurogane protested.

_ Idiot,  _ Fai murmured,  _ if you let it go on like this, it will get so bad you can’t use it. _ Kurogane didn’t say anything else while Fai did what he could to ease the pain.  _ I suppose you don’t want Syaoran and Mokona to know,  _ Fai said when he had finished wrapping Kurogane’s shoulder.

_ I don’t want to give them another thing to worry about  _ Kurogane said. 

Fai pushed him onto the bed and kissed him.  _ I know you well enough to worry more when you try to hide your pain from me. It’s okay if you let me face the pain with you. _

_ I’ll tell you next time I’m in pain if you promise to do the same,  _ Kurogane said. Fai’s face lit up in a smile and he nodded.  _ Now come here,  _ Kurogane said, and pulled Fai in for a kiss.

_ I have a confession  _ Fai said between kisses.  _ I got us our own room for more than one reason. _

_ You’re going to have to be quiet,  _ Kurogane commented. Chances were, Syaoran and Mokona would be hearing something they didn’t want to hear. Fai was bad at being quiet.

 

Fai had never used his vampire nails before, but if he was fighting Fei Wong Reid, he thought he could make a habit from him. This was the man who had taken everything from him, who had killed his brother and made him believe it was his fault. Fai wanted nothing more than to make the bastard bleed, but he knew Kurogane only felt the same. Fighting next to Kurogane was exhilarating. It felt like what he had been born to do. He knew what Kurogane was about to do before he did it, and together it felt like there was nothing they couldn’t face. 


	10. Nihon/Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurogane and Fai return to Nihon... for good

It had been years since that day in Clow Country, when Fei Wong Reid had died and the clones had disappeared. It had taken time, but Fai, Kurogane, Syaoran and Sakura had managed to rescue the clones and return them to their bodies. They had chosen to stay in Piffle world with Tomoyo, who had made sure Kurogane’s arm was working. 

_ I don’t think I’ll be needing this anymore  _ Fai said as he removed the blue of his eye.  _ It should get us to Nihon Country, if you don’t mind giving me your blood for the forseeable future. _

_ Watanuki said he’ll keep you’re eyes around  _ Syaoran said.  _ If I find something valuable enough on my travels, I’ll get you your eyes back. _

Fai smiled and shrugged.  _ I will be grateful if you get them back, but I won’t be disappointed if you don’t. I just want to have a quiet life with this one,  _ he grabbed onto Kurogane’s arm.

_ Quiet life,  _ Kurogane chuckled.  _ Life with you will be anything but quiet. What will you kids do? _

Syaoran didn’t say that he wasn’t really a kid anymore, just glanced over at Sakura, who was saying her goodbyes to the other Sakura and said  _ If I can convince her, I want Sakura to return to Clow Country. I have to continue to travel, but she doesn’t. I figure I’ll find valuable things for Watanuki in new worlds, and visit my friends when I can.  _

_ You will always be welcome in Nihon,  _ Kurogane told him.  _ You have friends in almost every world. _

Syaoran smiled and nodded.  _ I’ll stay with you for a while, but I will have to move on. The two of you deserve to settle, after all this time.  _

 

Tomoyo welcomed them with no questions. They had come to Nihon one other time on their travels, when they were still searching for the clones. That parting had been even more difficult for Kurogane, but now that he was home, he found it hard to settle. Fai was busy learning the new language--Mokona had gone on with Syaoran, another difficult parting--but he seemed to be adjusting well. He was very adaptable.

_ You’re both very good at running  _ Tomoyo had commented one night to Kurogane.  _ Neither of you have learned how to stand still.  _

_ I don’t intend to sit around the palace,  _ Kurogane protested.  _ I am going to destroy your enemies. _

Tomoyo laughed.  _ We don’t have many enemies right now, Kurogane. Your task is to go home to your magician and make a life here. Be happy.  _

_ It’s harder than I thought it would be  _ Kurogane admitted.  _ Fighting a demon, or searching for feathers--I always know what I’m supposed to do. This is strange. _

_ I know you can do it  _ Tomoyo said.  _ You aren’t the man I sent away so many years ago. If I didn’t think you were ready, I would not have allowed you to return.  _

Kurogane nodded. Tomoyo was right. He always chided Fai for running from everything, but he was not much better. They needed to learn together.

Fai was still awake when Kurogane go back to their room.  _ How was your day?  _ He asked, tripping over the strange pronunciation.

_ It was good,  _ Kurogane said as he removed his weapons.  _ I think we can be happy here. _

Fai’s face broke into a smile.  _ You know I can be happy anywhere we’re together. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few ideas for a sequel... so if you guys want to read more let me know in the comments. I might write more in this universe, but I'm also going to start an AU, so keep an eye out for that!


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